Pour les personnes ayant subi des agressions à caractère sexuel, il peut être difficile d’en parler. Elles peuvent se demander : « Est-ce qu’on va croire mon histoire ? À qui dois-je en parler ? Que va-t-il arriver si j’en parle ? »
Plusieurs raisons contribuent au silence des personnes victimes et survivantes : les mythes et les préjugés, la crainte des représailles, l'isolement, le fait d’avoir des sentiments confus à l’égard de l’agresseur, la crainte des démarches judiciaires, la peur de perturber la vie de ses proches et l’impression d’être responsable de l’événement.
Il n’est pas facile d’aider une personne qui a subi une agression à caractère sexuel. Quand on reçoit ce genre de confidence, il faut être à l’affût de ses réactions et de celles de la personne qui s’ouvre à nous avant d’émettre un jugement ou d’entreprendre une action.
Helpful attitudes
Avoid comments questioning the word of the person speaking. They don't have to prove anything.
Practice active listening, with a non-verbal attitude of openness. Do not interrupt their speech; pauses and silences are conducive to confidence. Make sure to avoid guided questions.
Let the person speak to you in their own words, at their own pace, and reveal what they can share.
Victims and survivors all react differently. Do not seek to assess the severity of the attack or to compare what they are going through.
Let the person know they can count on your discretion, unless the assaults persist or their safety is compromised.
Try to control your emotions and not overreact. Remember that the other person needs support and attention right now, not you!
Let the person cry, scream, laugh. Encourage the expression of what the person feels. Focus your attention on the person's emotions and not on the analysis of the facts reported.
Steer the blame away and put it on the assailant: they are the sole person responsible for their actions.
Check if the person is in danger, if they have suicidal thoughts and if they need professional help.
Let the person know you are available, whether to talk about it or to accompany them in their steps, respecting your limits. Check if the person has a support network to rely on.
Encourage the person to identify their needs and find ways to meet them. Letting the person make their own choices is helping them regain power over their life.
Encourage the person to seek support: referring is helping. The CALACS (Sexual Assault Help Centers) are resources specializing in sexual assault : they are present in almost all regions of Quebec. Offer tangible help if you can.